Category Archives: Love

Waking Up and Realizing You Dont Want to be Alone Anymore

Well, who hasn’t done this.  Or who hasn’t gone to bed pining over the elusive love and wandering when their grand ole ship will sail in. It’s timeless and in some cases gets to be quite pathetic.  It gets to be soo insanely out of control that they’ve made repeated bad movies and sung songs that mirror the same theme  of finding that missing link. Of course in movies, 80% of the protagonists get their gal or guy, but in songs there never really is an ending-simply snapshots into moments when people realize they’ve had “certain” feelings.  I’m a bit temperamental when it comes to love. Sometimes, I’m resigned to remain a stone cold bastion of solitude. Never, would I want to be the weak and driveling mess of a woman that I’ve so often seen around me. Women calling men who used to tell them that they loved them or rifling through fb pictures to see what new chick in the coop.  Or women so desperate that they fling themselves into the arms of any Tom, Dick or Harry. Newsflash…no one will ever love you more than you. For those of you who have found a lover who professes unconditional love and showers you daily with much deserved affection= congratulations; but for those of us who haven’t …starting with self love can’t hurt.

Self-Love, is perhaps, one of the most complicated elements in life many of us will ever have to deal. You are, in essence, in a relationship with yourself: thoughts, actions, emotions etc. The dualistic nature of being is perhaps an age old discussion on the emotionality of humans—and if you buy that life has only a two pronged appeal,  then more power to you ( it sure does make thinking a helluva lot simplistic). Thinking of the negative and positive forces warring in your head is a quick way to rule out the In-betweens .

Fast Forwarding past the musings. If you are ready for love—like I think I somewhat am…in the sense of opening up your little space to accomadate a significant other. The journey will not be fast so don’t be too hasty.  I am beyond a doubt a screener. Once in a while it’s okay to leave the screen at home and go beyond a sentence or three–before deciding this person is not worth your time.

Leave the mental baggage at home…dont bring the self-esteem issues with you to the game zone. That is something that you deal with in training…if you haven’t dealth with it yet…then you’re just not ready. Relish the hunt…A few months ago, I may have been writing about stars lighting up in your eyes when you meet the one; but nay…the game is not as bountiful as one would imagine. There are men…but the type that you want are more than likely in demand (at least if it’s the intellectual, funny, considerate type).

and lastly, admitting to yourself that you’re ready is the first step…putting yourself out there (NOT to be confused with putting out) is the task.  

Lastly, enjoy the moment.

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Is Marriage stupid?

Ok…so there’s this video below. The young man, Jerry, pretty much spells out to viewers his unabashed aversion to the concept of marriage. When I first watched it, all I did was laugh at his vulgarity. The second time I watched I noticed an inconsistency, but please view this yourself: 

His main point is marriage doesn’t change a relationship. It won’t make it better or worse so why do it? He asks, “why get married if you are already my girlfriend, we have sex, etc.?”

The thing is…

If the distinctions such as marriage are irrelevant, why am Inot just a “friend?” Apparently the “girlfriend” title differentiates the relationship. So perhaps “husband” or “wife” is another differentiation that inculcates a different set of beliefs, attitudes, etc.

For some of his reasons, he is right. There is an economic benefit. If one’s boyfriend/girlfriend has wealth and dies, the bf/gf is not entitled to it, even if they were dating for 50 years.

Also marriage just denotes a more intense level of commitment. I mean what’s the difference between a high schooler’s boyfriend and a couple who have been bf-gf for 20 years?

On paper…you have the same thing especially in Louisiana (where Jerry is from) under Napoleonic Code, which doesn’t recognize common law situations.

The funniest part for me is when he starts critiquing weddings saying, ” The guy is just there, and the girl is walking down the isle like she’s the pope.”

He’s right! I think most weddings are overdone and err to ridiculous. I mean really, though? It really is not a fairytale and people need to get real.

On that note, I totally agree with him.

However, life is short so why not celebrate?


Quick Advice

If you keep getting cheated on over and over, then the problem is you.

Consistent patterns of having cheating partners is indicative of something beyond coincidence. Take some time and learn who the person is before getting too involved.

No person deserves to be lied to and cheated on, and it can happen to anyone.

Simply try changing what you look for in a partner. Instead of going for the player or hot girl, try the guy/girl who is more sincere and genuinely cares about you and supports your dreams.